Saturday, 12 November 2011

What the....

Hi... See the title for today?'re right....lame~ But anyway this time on my post, I just wanna express my feeling of frustration. To tell you the truth, I have a girlfriend once. But starting this year when she went to another school, slowly she ignores me...and untill one day, I found out that she was 'mempermainkan' me. And came one day she send me a message saying that she wants to break up with me. And just like that, we never contact each other anymore. So, do I felt sad and frustrated? Well of course....and I felt angry and felt like a dumbass. I should have known that she doesn't have a feeling towards me a few months ago. But as time goes by, I manage to overcome my stupid emotion(sad and frustrated). Now, I just want to see her in a misarable situation... Muahahaha! But what can I do, my heart is not evil enough... I always feel bad when I do wrong things towards other people. It feels like I wanna kill myself for doing evil things. WHATEVER... I don't wanna see you anymore coz IF I see you again, I might wanna kill you or push you towards the incoming cars.

So lets get started... A few months ago, I went to a fire brigade camp for cadets that was held at Hutan Bandar,Johor. I was representing Kedah together with my friends. We practiced hard before we go there. Well...during the practice at Balai Bomba Guar.... I met this girl who looks really adorable. It's like "hey, am I imagining things or something?" But at first I just don't want to break the ice or have a nice chat with her coz I'm really shy to get face to face with a girl that have a wonderful look which I suddenly fall in love with (love at first sight). One day I helped her with her preparation during our practice in 'Kawad Operasi Basah Berhalangan'. I get the fire hose ready for her and set-up some other things. But I just keep my face looks serious coz I'm SO shy =__=.

And so came the first day at the camp site, Hutan Bandar,Johor. It was good. nothing terrible except the toilets and during the morning. Oh so you wanna know what happened? Well, the toilets that they provide were really bad. You know...the toilets that can be take anywhere. Yeah! That's the toilet i'm talking about. And I have to wake up at 5 in the morning everyday. The worst is that I have to take a bath at a nearby tap water. Man it was so cold untill I can see my breath comes out. Sucks right? Hahaha! Okay, lets go on to the next part.

The day for the 'Kawad Operasi Basah Berhalangan' competition is here. I was so nervous that morning untill I felt like I wanna run non-stop circling the park. Hehe.... What a day that was huh... So, the girl's team start first. When the girls are given some time to gear up and set up their things,,,the boys were called to help them. For my team(Kedah), I helped the girl that I just mention. And the best is when I helped her tighten her helmet. In the same time, I take a look at her face for about 4 seconds. Her eyes were.... Aw man...I don't know how to decribe coz they were really beautiful. Okay, that's enough. I'm really shy right now.

A few days past and the night when we were at Putrajaya, I finally talk to her. Face to face. Man how shy I was. Only Allah knows how shy I was at that night. But I only talk to her for like 5 minutes coz I was so shy! What do you expect! Haha! Besides, I don't wanna take her time to much. And in the morning where we all arrived at Balai Bomba Guar, it was time for us to get back to our district. Me and my friends were so  emotional that morning. So when my teacher came to pick me up, I made a quick goodbye to all my friends and her. I saw her crying and when I went towards her to say goodbye, she smiled at me and at the same time her tears flow down. I felt like I was gonna cry to but I manage to overcome it. And that's it. I went home. When I arrived home, I cried coz I can't stand it anymore. I mean, when will I have the chance to meet them again,especially her. It's going to take years until I have my license to drive a car. So now I'm just praying that I will met them all one day.