Sunday, 29 July 2012

Tiring Day Without Her

Dear blog, last night I called her and we spend only a few minutes on the phone coz I ran out of credits. I tried so many time to redeem my SOS top-up but unfortunately the line won't give it to me last night.

Anyway, I continue playing warcraft III with my cousin until 7.00 a.m. After that I just set-up my place to sleep coz I let my cousin sleep in my bed. I went to sleep at 8.30 a.m and woke up at 10.20 a.m. But before that, the shit-est thing happened. The SOS top-up arrived at 6.00 a.m. Great -_-!

But somehow I felt calm and peaceful again in me when I talked to her last night. I could feel my self again. If she were here right now I wanna hug her and never let her go.

After I've done with my tuition class at 1.16 p.m., I called her to apologize about last night. But it seemed that she turned off her phone. I tried to reach her so many times but it was just the same. No answer. 

After that, my dad arrived with my cousin. They picked me up and took us to Village Mall to watch The Dark Knight Rises. But only me and my cousin who watched the movie. The movie was fantastic! Lot's of action and surprise. But I hate the suspense part where batman almost got killed by Bane.

Pity Bruce.... He always got dumped by the women he loves. And in this movie it's worst. He was betrayed! Argh! Bruce, I feel your pain, bro.

During the movie, I always take a look at my phone every 15 minutes in case there was a text or a call from my girl even though I knew that she will not return my calls. Well, the best part is...I kept imagine that she was beside me resting her head on my shoulder. Hehe... I know, you guys must think that I'm like a crazy person. Sorry readers, it's just that I miss her so bad :(

As soon I arrived home, my mom was standing at the door waiting for me and my cousin. I thought that she was about to scold us but then she asked me and my cousin to go with her and my cousin's parents to my aunt's home at Penang Island to open fast. Man~it was such a tiring day... So, in the car, I don't know what to do. Usually I will listen to some song with my mp3 but unfortunately it has malfunctioned. Stupid mp3. And so I just hoped that she will magically text me at that time until I fell asleep in the car. 

At my aunt's house at Penang Island, my mom and her siblings have a great and long chat until I felt really tired. My head just telling me to call her and then have a long sleep. But just who am I to change the situation. I'm not a god.

So, now I just arrived home and about to sleep. Just a few minutes ago I tried to call my girl but still....she turned off her phone. Well, Meiy, if you just happened to read this, I wanna wish you goodnight and have a sweet dream tonight. Sleep tight, girl. I love you and I really miss you so bad T_T.

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Continuous Dream

Aaah~ just got back from school. Today I arrived home late coz I was studying Additional Maths with some of my friends. The trial examination is just around the corner so I got to study hard. 

My class ends at 2.30p.m today. Well,as usual I always look at my phone if there is a text from my girl and I always take a look at her picture before I go on with my next activity. I miss her so much until when I fell asleep in the class, I always dream of her going out with me. Every time. Seriously. But I know...that won't change the situation. Man~I really can't accept that fact. 

Whatever it is, I'll never stop praying good things for her. Until then, bye bye readers.

Don't Jump to Conclusion Straight Away

Oh god...why that it has to be like this. Last night she called me. I was shocked at that time because 10 minutes before that I was thinking about her whether she's in good health or not and if I can just hear her voice again. What I mean is I really need to talk to her at that time to tell her everything that I want her to know. 

Well, the truth is, she still loves me. She said that to me. Man~I'm such a jerk to jump straight to conclusion. That night... we talk she told me that her mother had passed away. A few weeks before, her father. Now she's living her life with her brothers and sometimes with her aunt. What a life. I feel so sad for her... If only I'm a richman's son, I would have gone to her place to pay a visit for her. To accompany her to her parent's grave. But unfortunately... I don't belong to a rich family. I'm just an average guy that act like a rich dude. Pathetic isn't it. Yeah, I know :(

Anyway...I seemed to have misunderstood about what she had done. But still...I feel the pain. My heart is full of sorrows. One thing that I can't stand to hear was that she is moving to Edinburgh after this coming trial examination. I wonder if she will still love me when time passes by... I hope one day all my prayer will be fulfilled by Allah. If you guys wanna know what I always pray for her are...well, I always pray that she will be a successful women when she has finished her studies, pray that may Allah protects her from any danger, pray that she will be my wife one day, pray that her heart,mind,and soul are in peace, and much more. To make it simple, her name is always in my prayers. Man~ i sure miss her a lot. I long for her.

Okay, I'm sleepy right now. One thing that I promised myself is I will search for her one day even if it takes me years and living my life alone. But anyhow I have to focus on my studies first. If not, I'll not going anywhere. And I'll write a song about her one day. Just wait and see. Okay then, I'm going to sleep right now. Good night readers and good night my girl (hope she hears it in her dream). 

T__T

Saturday, 21 July 2012

I Can't Feel My Soul Anymore

Well...tonight is the end. She didn't tell me anything whether she still loves me or not. But her action showed that she loves her ex-boyfriend more. 

First she said her love for me was growing stronger. Now....her love for her ex-boyfriend is getting stronger everyday. And me...all alone again. In my dark and cold world. I knew that I can never be anybody's partner. Especially to the girl that I love.

You guys must be thinking why the hell did I mention these things. Well guys, I can't feel my soul anymore. I wish I were something that doesn't have a live..like a data or a wind..or even soil, so that I don't have to bare this pain.

What do you feel when somebody gave you hope and then she just leave you for another guy just like that without a word? Exactly. That's what I'm feeling right now. The pain in your heart. Now only I know the pain. It just keep slicing your heart and as if you apply concentrated acid to your skin. Damn~it hurts a lot. 

Anyway...back to the story. I just knew it that she doesn't need me anymore. I know that I'm not perfect. I'm still studying, act like a child sometimes...I'm not rich...She just knew me for about 4 months and her ex-boyfriend for 3 years. If only I don't exist, everybody will be happy. And you guys would not even have to read my pathetic story of my life. 

Sometimes I feel like I wanna poke my eyes until I'm blind so that I can only hear things. So that I would not see that my beloved girl is loving someone else. And I wish...that my life is short. Hope I will get a cancer so that I know how much time I still have to live in this world of lies and betrayal.

Mute

Dear blog.... Last night I'm so hurt until I cried and scream without a sound. I won't stop loving her if she still want me and need me to be by her side forever. Remembering everything she'd told me...all the sweet words....it hurts me a lot. You can't even imagine how it was. I just can open my mouth and scream and cry...and all that are without a sound. Silent.

Thursday, 19 July 2012

Don't know what to talk about. I'm so sad and frustrated. When I finally found a good girl for me, my relationship with her was always hanging suddenly. When I am loyal to her...she still have feelings for other guy. I'm so pissed off and really can't stand the sadnness.
How could she. Well,I hope she loves her life.

Sunday, 1 July 2012

Don't Know What to Do

My girl just text me a few hours ago and she said that she has just lost her dad. He was involved in an accident. Man~I feel so sorry for her. But I don't know what to do. I called her just now but she off her phone.

One thing I saw in her text was she said that we can't continue anymore. Owmaaan~ T__T. Beside feeling sorry for her, I'm soooooo so so so sad. I just don't know what to do,man~ T__T.

Dear, I'm so sorry for you :(